


Time

by theblueofahchto



Series: Time [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Emperor Kylo Ren, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-11 07:50:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13519770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblueofahchto/pseuds/theblueofahchto
Summary: Five years after the closing of the Millennium Falcon’s hatch, an expanse of time weighs heavily on Rey and Kylo Ren. With combating forces of Dark and Light, will time teach them how to transform their visions of each other? | A slow burn, post TLJ.





	1. Prologue

**Prologue |** Now

_Have you seen the girl with the mind on fire?_

_She set out to tell the world how they suppress our desires_

_Said she wouldn’t back down ‘til the rules were amended_

_And she didn’t give a fuck who she offended_

_Music:_ "[Mind on Fire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-g5KqCUjHE)" by Aisha Badru

\---

The forest is dark and dense as he walks slowly through the snow. His heavy black boots sink into the blanket of white beneath his feet, and for a moment, he marvels at how his steps leave perfect voids in the deep snow. 

Behind him, in the valley, the Rebel base lays smoking. And before him, she is out there. The nighttime attack was messy, not what he intended, but this was the moment. This was the time, he convinced himself, to change their fates.

The Stormtroopers are quiet on the Supreme Leader’s left and right, vigilant as the sounds of blasters fade in their measured wake. Their armor is a sharp contrast against the blackness of the forest, the soft snowfall disappearing entirely on their suits. They follow his lead – stopping when he stops, moving when he moves. Their steps are wide, calculated, and they watch him watch the forest.

He can almost hear his pulse, beating lightly in his temples and wrists. His eyes slowly scan the trees lit by the cracking red of his saber. It casts unexpected warmth and his pulse builds. He can feel her _out there_. She is in the forest once more, and he remembers their every meeting between the trees.

In five years, he has felt each wildfire in her mind. He’s sure she has endured his, too. Her physical presence ignites him as always, their Bond only growing, strengthening through the years. He has followed her throughout the galaxy, reaching out through the Force to find her again, and again, and again. 

He steps forward, a familiar snap of the snow below. He pulsates with the current of the Force, the rhythm mounting as he advances. He can feel her Lightness glowing in the distance – somewhere, somewhere out there. He’s close. 

A vibration swells in his chest, the usual gentle tug of their Bond sharpening, pulling, heaving. He thinks the Force an incredible thing, connecting their disparities. Another step. He sends her name through their connection and the beat increases with steadiness. Another. _Snap_. The Force thumps against his chest, drawing him on a line. Another. _Thump_. Their Bond wracks him and he knows he’s close. 

He sends her name again and tempers his breathing, keeping the now thudding build of the Force from escaping him in an audible moan. When the space between them is navigable, the mental connection bleeds into every muscle, every thought. He’s on fire with her.

_Snap_.

He stops, raises a hand for the troopers to halt. He listens, his head turning slightly to the ground. 

In the distance, he can hear her labored breath caught in her chest, her throat. He can see the dark, dense forest. The tree bark at her back. The waves of Ahch-To. The dunes of Jakku. The rise and fall of her tired chest. The cockpit of the Falcon and her hands on the gears, fingers running languidly along the dash, a shoulder resting against the worn leather of the pilot’s seat. He sees the blur of lightspeed, hears the quiet, hidden gasp of awe, feels the sudden pang of pity, of fear, of hope, of foreign homesickness.

Their connection is so much more than it once was and he falters as the Bond cements him. 

“Rey.”


	2. Six Months | Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been six months of a restrained, silent Bond and quiet Force until Kylo Ren breaks-down Rey’s tired barriers.

**Part One | Six Months**

 

**Chapter One |** Her

_What a shock, what a scare_   
_Two nights ago I was holding your hand_   
_What a crack, what a joke_   
_Don’t know if I should pat you on the back or watch you go_

_And I try to block it out, but I won’t forget the fall_

_…_

_My hope was strong but overpowered_   
_By a boy whose faith was swallowed by his doubt_

Music: “[What I Had in Mind](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLFW4qonnbo)” by the Wild Reeds

\---

  
_Where are you?_

It had been six months since the main hold of the _Millennium Falcon_ had been empty, quiet. What remained of the Resistance had traveled far, finding temporary shelter from their on-and-off skirmishes with the First Order on a planet in the Outer Rim. It was an old outpost on a forested world. Rey had never heard of it. The fresh air and green were welcomed, but it was no retired or abandoned base. It would do for now.

The old ship's corridors were tight, even with the small crew. Rey saw how uncomfortable Leia was in the curved halls. The general's hands were constantly clasped together as she walked, careful not to brush up against the walls. Once they were on-world, Leia was the first down the ramp.

_Where are you?_

Rey sits on the curved bench in the hold, thinks of the look of worry on Leia's face. She had remained behind, alone in the belly of the ship that had become so much like home. She thinks of how juxtaposed her and the general's feelings are about the Falcon.

_Where are you?_

She closes her eyes, breathes in deeply. She can hear him. He's there, and she can feel the dull magnetic pull of their connection - their Bond - in her chest. It had been six months since she closed off their connection behind the hatch of the _Millennium Falcon_. It had been six months since she let herself hear his voice.

Closing him off was difficult, exhausting. At first, she could feel him pounding against her mind. Tight, closed fists. With time, it became easier - either she was becoming stronger with the Force or he was relenting. It was tiring nonetheless, and from time-to-time she wondered if his head ached like hers.  
  
This was not what she had imagined, had allowed herself to hope for in her journey to find balance, her place. She presses her hands together, like Leia holding herself close, and revisits the feel of his skin on hers. She thinks of this more than she cares to admit.

“You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You’re nothing… but not to me. Join me. _Please_.”

She flows easily into her vision from Ahch-To, the vision that was pulled out from beneath her with confusion. It was solid, her vision, she knew. In the six months since she filled the corridors of the _Falcon_ , she remembers daily his upturned hand, his plea in a myriad of ways – hope, betrayal, a dream, a reality shading their connection.

She presses her closed hands to her chest, holding the image of him out-reached to her. She releases when she remembers how his doubt of the Light pulled him back into the Dark. He chose to remain in the shadow of the Force, his emotional faithlessness. He chose his vision of her and she reacted in the only way she knew how.

She had reached for the saber.

His choice echoes in her, thunderous – overpowering her until she erected her defenses. In these six months, she builds a wall between them brick by brick until her body aches with fatigue.

Within the quiet, empty hold, Rey lets herself sink into her tiredness. Perhaps that's why her guard is down, the closure fissuring.

His voice is soft, low, measured. _Where are you, Rey?_

She opens her eyes again. She can't see him, but he's there.

_You can't hide forever._

The calmness in his voice surprises her. Perhaps after months of beating away, he, too, is tired.

She steadies herself. The Bond pulls tightly at her, as if a rope tied between her ribs suddenly yanked. She remembers this feeling from the island, the vacuum drawing them each in. It's the first time in months that the Force feels tangible, and despite herself, she eases into the feeling of its ebb and flow.

_I will find you._

Her nostrils flair as she feels warm air on her neck. She turns suddenly, looking behind her. Nothing.

"Leave me," she says into the empty hold, her voice more weary than she’d like.

She can hear him sigh, feels the heavy weight in his chest. The feeling is mirrored in her own. Why is he doing this? What is there to gain?

_I will never leave you._

She clenches her jaw, “ _liar_ ” on the tip of her tongue. Instead, she holds fast to her own choice, her vision.

"You'll never win at this, Ben." She sits upright, scanning the hold for his image. With his name, her tone is bitter, hurt. "The Resistance will always outrun you."

He is silent, but he's still present with her. She can feel the Bond holding her. It feels overwhelming now, almost electric. Her fingertips tingle sharply as if they've been singed. She remembers the heat of his skin. Her head aches.

_This isn't about the Resistance. I_ will _find you._

Before she can speak, he is the one to close the connection, and it's as if a door has slammed hard. Like the hatch. It makes her shudder and she stands quickly to regain her strength. This is too much. The sensation in her hands disappears as quickly as it came, but she can sense the Force sparking around her more clearly now. She arches her back, her hands forming into tight fists at her sides, and she hears a buckle in the floor. The entire ship rocks before she startles herself into calm.

\---

In her sleep, she is on Ahch-To again. She stands on the cliff-side, looking out over the deep, endless blue of the ocean before her. The powerful breeze of the island blows tendrils of her hair in all directions and she brushes it away, smiling wide as she hears the strong laps of the waves below, the cheerful call of the porgs.

In her sleep, the Force is with her. She feels it flowing deep in her bloodstream, filling her with Light but aching with something distant and strong. She knows it’s the Darkness, but the balance settles and squares her feet with her shoulders, and she feels like she is made of same crystal in the cave below - solid and clear.


	3. Six Months | Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren dismantles Rey’s defenses. Bitterly.

**Part One | Six Months**

 

 **Chapter Two |** Him

 

_But the only girl that could talk to him just couldn’t swim_

_Music:_ “[Lydia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glx5u-dBzNQ)” by Highly Suspect

  

It had been six months since she built her wall. It had been six months since she disappeared behind the hatch and into the void. He threw himself at her defenses angrily, bitterly. He roared. He pleaded. He screamed. He wanted to destroy her.

 

"Where are you?”

 

He sits in his chambers of the _Vengeance_ , his boots heavy on the ground, with a medical droid stitching a deep cut in his bicep. A blaster had torn through his cloak and the starched linen of his tunic during their latest attack on a Resistance-aligned planet. General Hux had bellowed when Kylo Ren stormed alongside the front line. He quieted him with another busted lower lip.

 

The transition of power was swift and he assumed his role with the same retribution that killed Snoke. He was merciless to those in the fleet and those in every system who questioned him. The First Order was the machine by which he enacted his will. His fervor to decimate the Resistance, however, was overshadowed by his hunger to find  _her._

 

It was  _her_ that rocked him to the core, fueling the spinning and consuming anger in his core.

 

It was  _her_ that crept into his sleep, made his head pound with pain, ripped at his chest with an electric charge of Force.

 

And without admitting, it was  _her_ he searched for any every skirmish, every attack, every battle.

 

He balls his fists with reprisal for her rejection of him and their shared vision. The medical droid beeps with an uptick in his blood pressure, stopping to run diagnostics. She's there in every movement of his muscles, every thought, every pulse in his veins. There's no escaping. He waves his hand for the machine to continue.

 

He closes his eyes, willing himself to calm. He remembers her disappearing behind the hatch of the _Falcon_ , realizing the Bond was never Snoke's command. His vision was real and she cut it off at the head. The black, cold, dark space between them seems unnavigable and he cannot deny how exhausting his battering has become. 

 

He sends out through the Bond with desperation, "Where are you?"

 

He needs to find her, and pulls hard and fast at their Bond. 

 

This desperation, with every day she maintains her defenses, adds another layer to his anger, frustration, confusion. _That damn door._ What was she playing at? Wasn’t this Bond racketing against her, too? In the six months since she made her choice, the image of her reaching for the saber, her dark and intense expression, repeats in his peripheral. It catches his breath every time the memory surfaces, swiftly enveloping the pain and uncertainty into his engulfing dark. He swallows it whole _every time._

 

He has allowed his Darkness to propel him through the glossed halls of the _Vengeance,_ through his military commands, through his endless search to quell the bright, burning Light she sparked in him.

 

It was  _her_.

 

She breathed into the flame of the Light in him, building the slow burn - for the Light, for her, for their vision. And it  _hurt._ She closed the hatch. There was no going back. He needed to bury the flame - cover it, hide it away, destroy the source.  _Destroy her_.

 

"Where are you?" 

 

He clenches his fists tighter, feels the Light clamoring against the pain, the hurt, the confusion suffocating it.

 

"Where are you, Rey?"

 

He inhales sharply.

 

"You can't hide forever." 

 

He slams his fists against his knees, furrowing his brow. 

 

"I will find you."

 

He exhales slowly and his eyes snap wide when he hears her.

 

_Leave me._

 

\---

 

In his sleep, he sees himself collapsed in the throne room. The flames build around him. He sees his reflection in the glossy floor, sees the spark of his red saber before seeing her. She cuts him deep and runs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write mostly in vignettes and hope that some substance comes from these short scenes. I’d love your feedback! Feel free to drop a comment here or send a message via my tumblr: theblueofahch-to.tumblr.com.

**Author's Note:**

> This piece of fan-fiction is heavily inspired by music and lyrics. I'm hoping to attach a song to each chapter.


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